Friday, August 1, 2014

Real men...have feelings

I haven't watched the 'The Bachelorette' since the first season years ago, but has been hard to avoid the news stories about the reunion episode lately.

 On the reunion episode, rejected contestant Nick Viall confronted bachelorette Andi Dorfman about why she slept with him if she didn't want to have a relationship with him after. "I didn't have any expectations of that night...but that night, that was like fiancee-type of stuff" said Nick through watery eyes. I am not sure whether the headlines celebrating that Andi was not "slut-shamed" or comments calling Nick a "wimp" or "crazy" are more disturbing.

This story highlights gender inequality; despite the 'sexual revolution' described by Kimmel, it is still unusual for women to openly talk about enjoying sex or engaging in sex outside of marriage due to the fear of being attacked in the media. It is also painful for me to see how Nick is hurt and desperately searching for closure in the failed relationship, a situation that many people have been in. Having emotions is part of being a human, not just being a woman. Nick is violating gender roles by being open with his feelings and admitting that spending the night with Andi was an expression of his feelings, not just pleasure-seeking behavior that is "ingrained" in men.

1 comment:

  1. I have watched every single season of Bachelor/Bachelorette and there seems to always be one person that they sleep with but know they aren't going to choose. I feel like people always take the "fantasy suite" simply for the alone time to have sex but don't take it serious in the sense of like how you said Nick said, it's fiancee stuff. It definitely is an example of "sexual revolution" because women don't usually talk about sex openly like you said. And definitely shows Nick's emotions for him to be upset and showing that she's hurt him especially to the media. Doesn't mean Nick is any less masculine, he just isn't ashamed to show his feelings and express how he felt.